B&W tend to be shown with Mac amps,or Classe amps, which in my opinion do not reveal their true, tremendous potential.... Properly set up with some softer to neutral cables (cardas golden cross or Clear Beyond or similar ) the 802D3 and 800D3 that I ve heard, sounded simply amazing, Having said that , you are not the first who describes the D3 series thusly, and that is so unfair for them to get such reputation, mostly I think the associated gear and the set up is at fault. When me and my "golden eared" audiophile friend went to the Best Buy in Paramus, NJ to listen to 800D3 when they came out in the USA, the set up was so so , much to be desired .... At a different Best Buy location on Long Island , NY, the initial set up by B&W rep of your 802D3 sounded just jaw droppingly good, strangely enough with Mac amps, but none of those exhibited the piercing sound that you ve described. Few month later the Best Buy's Magnolia personell moved those 802D3 around within the same room, and they sounded quite mediocre and bland. I have not heard the new Hayles per se, but I ve listened to the various models YG in general over the years, and with the Nordost cables used the results could lead to even worse piercing sound, act 2, as Nordost cables tend to suck the soul out of music IMHO.... You know what you doing, but If I were you and funds are not a factor, i d try to listen to 800D3 with Symphonic LIne monoblock amps, either the Rg-4, or Kraft 300 stereo or Kraft 300 Monos, or Pilium amplifiers if feasible... Again, the combo of Symph LIne and 800D3 is just as good as almost pretty much anything in dynamic speaker world, at sane prices, and I don't use these words lightly.with none of the issues of beaming or dryness that you ve mentioned. The 800D3 also sound amazing with powerfull EL-34 based tube amps, easily on par with any 100 grand speakers from any brand. Also, this may be a moot point but the new D4 series are coming out in September....
There is a member here bonzo75, he also has had great experience with the combo, has written about his experience on his blog ... Should you stick with the Hayles, the Symphonic LIne, or Pilium amps would be a great match with YG as well... The above is just IMO naturally.