This is a fascinating thread. At times amusing (mine’s bigger than yours), or confusing, but fairly thought provoking. I’ll add my $.02.
I spent some time in the mid 80s as an apprentice audio engineer in a performing arts center, recording ensembles large and small and providing amplification for a wide variety of groups. I also go to the symphony regularly so I have a reasonable idea of what that sounds like. I have spent enough on my systems to get to the results I want. Neither of those systems remotely reproduces what I hear at a concert unless we’re talking about a home concert (which we have also hosted).
The audio engineer for a recording is choosing mics based on their voicing characteristics (i.e.Neumann U87 v M50) and purpose (vocal, instrument, venue space,, etc.) location of those mics (piano is excruciatingly difficult to record with authenticity to how it actually sounds).
The audio engineer for amplification is trying to make sure you can actually hear everything while doing their best to not blow out the ears of the performers through monitors, while capturing their instrument authentically (nearly impossible because stage mics are very, very different and narrower in frequency response and sound field from recording mics) so that you get a reasonable sound field.
The speakers for virtually all venues are in mono (not stereo) so all participants hear the mix. Walk around the venue while doing a sound check and you can easily hear the phase cancellations and comb effects in real time.
When i listen to a recording - I do not want to hear it at lifelike volume as that is too loud to actually hear everything the recording engineer was hoping you’d hear. At reasonable volumes, I can hear more subtleties and color. Yes, I certainly don’t enjoy the dynamic contrasts of a life performance - but that makes going to the concert more of a special event.
There are so many variables. The vintage of a recording matters greatly. I find many of the early digital DG recordings particularly bad. They had a mic on every stand so the recordings were flat front to back, and they were often mixed poorly and too bright. Some of the old RCA living color recordings from the late 50s and 60s are marvelous - particularly given the limitations of the technology at the time. Still a bit bright, but closer to what you might hear in a hall but still an interpretation with a dizzying amount of variables.
My point in this is that I’m not really looking to recreate the concert in my room - because I don’t really think you can. You can get closer than I do, but personally, I am looking to take a deeper dive into the music and performance than I can get from a concert. Yes - I hear more detail, more nuance, more of the performance than I can hear in the concert hall. That’s what I want. I go to the concert to hear the mighty dynamics and spontaneity. At home I want to lean in - maybe even dissect the music if I’m unfamiliar with it.
So my goal is not recreating the concert. I want my system to disappear so I’m not listening to my gear, but to the music. Recreating the performance in my listening room to the point of suspending belief? Not close. Pleasing and how I want to hear it? Very close.