The truth lies probably in the middle. The hobby is both about the music and the gear. Now that I have settled in with my new gear I am starting to get into the music itself again. And I get a presentation that gets me closer to the music than before, and certainly closer than a Bose radio. Are concerts always the answer? No. I am currently (again) exploring Stockhausen's marvelous "In the Sky I am Walking" for two solo singers. When will I ever hear that in concert? (There are concerts with that music next year, but I'd have to hop over the big pond.) Yet now my system reveals more about the musical intent of the composition and of the two performances I have on CD. That certainly is about the music.
Al, I agree. As my system improved, I got deeper into the music and it was much more enjoyable. I thought of the system less, and the music more. Do you remember that live jazz concert we attended together last Winter? The music was pretty good, but the experience was dreadful with the terrible PA system and outrageous volume. I even emailed the organizer and told him that I would not attend another performance there because of the horrendous acoustics. I never got a response. I much prefer a good system to that kind of a live experience. The BSO is different.
Some of my favorite musicians are no longer with us, so I must turn to my collection of LPs played on my system to appreciate their music. I do love good live performances, though.