Me too
There is one in the USAF museum at Duxford here in the UK and it really is something to see close up.
The WBF humor and joke thread.
- Thread starter treitz3
- Start date
Me too
There is one in the USAF museum at Duxford here in the UK and it really is something to see close up.
For our resident grumpy old man GaryProtein:
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled
himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled
himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
The beautiful blonde went into the bar and proceeded to flirt with a gentleman.
Smiling, and with a friendly voice, T.G.I.F. she said to him.
He was a bit confused and replied S.H.I.T.
Again she said T.G.I.F. while loosening her blouse as she smiled at him, and again he replied S.H.I.T.
T.G.I.F. she said. S.H.I.T. he replied.
Hey mister, I'm trying to be nice and you keep saying S.H.I.T.
He said that's right.
Sorry Honey, Its Thursday!
Smiling, and with a friendly voice, T.G.I.F. she said to him.
He was a bit confused and replied S.H.I.T.
Again she said T.G.I.F. while loosening her blouse as she smiled at him, and again he replied S.H.I.T.
T.G.I.F. she said. S.H.I.T. he replied.
Hey mister, I'm trying to be nice and you keep saying S.H.I.T.
He said that's right.
Sorry Honey, Its Thursday!
The fire truck
A fire fighter was working on the engine outside the station when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides, and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a fire fighter’s helmet.
The wagon was being pulled along by her dog and her cat. The fire fighter walked over to take a closer look.
“That sure is a nice fire truck” the fire fighter said with admiration.
“Thanks” the girl replied. The fire fighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.
“Little partner,” the fire fighter said, “I don't want to tell you how to run your rig but, if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster.”
The little girl replied thoughtfully “You're probably right but then I wouldn't have a siren.”
A fire fighter was working on the engine outside the station when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides, and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a fire fighter’s helmet.
The wagon was being pulled along by her dog and her cat. The fire fighter walked over to take a closer look.
“That sure is a nice fire truck” the fire fighter said with admiration.
“Thanks” the girl replied. The fire fighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.
“Little partner,” the fire fighter said, “I don't want to tell you how to run your rig but, if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster.”
The little girl replied thoughtfully “You're probably right but then I wouldn't have a siren.”
Steve Williams
Site Founder, Site Owner, Administrator
Three sisters age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together.
One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts her foot in and pauses.
She yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come up and see."
She starts up the stairs and pauses, then she yells,
"Was I going up the stairs or coming down?"
The 92 year old was sitting at the kitchen table having tea
listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says,
"I sure hope I never get that forgetful." She knocks
on wood for good measure. She then yells,
"I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see
who's at the door."
One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts her foot in and pauses.
She yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come up and see."
She starts up the stairs and pauses, then she yells,
"Was I going up the stairs or coming down?"
The 92 year old was sitting at the kitchen table having tea
listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says,
"I sure hope I never get that forgetful." She knocks
on wood for good measure. She then yells,
"I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see
who's at the door."
An elderly Italian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies
of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite Italian
anisette sprinkle cookies wafting up the stairs.
Gathering his remaining strength, he lifted himself from the bed. Leaning
against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even
greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.
With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen.
?
Where, if not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in
heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen ?table were
literally hundreds of his favorite anisette sprinkled cookies.? Was it heaven?
Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted? Italian wife of sixty years,
seeing to it that he left this world a happy ?man?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on
his knees in a crumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of
the cookie was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing? him back to life.??The aged
and withered hand trembled on its way to a cookie at the edge of ?the table, when
it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.....
"Don't touch!" she said, "They're for the funeral."
of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite Italian
anisette sprinkle cookies wafting up the stairs.
Gathering his remaining strength, he lifted himself from the bed. Leaning
against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even
greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.
With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen.
?
Where, if not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in
heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen ?table were
literally hundreds of his favorite anisette sprinkled cookies.? Was it heaven?
Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted? Italian wife of sixty years,
seeing to it that he left this world a happy ?man?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on
his knees in a crumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of
the cookie was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing? him back to life.??The aged
and withered hand trembled on its way to a cookie at the edge of ?the table, when
it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.....
"Don't touch!" she said, "They're for the funeral."
If Trump wins the election it will be the first time in US history that a billionaire moved into public housing vacated by a black family.
Steve Williams
Site Founder, Site Owner, Administrator
Hilary Clinton and her driver were cruising home along a country road one evening when an ancient cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it , but couldn't. The aged cow was struck and killed. Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened and pay them for the cow. She stayed in the car making phone calls. About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a huge Cuban cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick. "What happened to you?," asked Hillary ."Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made passionate love to me." "What did you tell them?" asked Hillary.The driver replied, "I just stepped inside the door and said, 'I'm Hillary Clinton's driver and I've just killed the old cow.' The rest happened so fast I couldn't stop it."
Steve Williams
Site Founder, Site Owner, Administrator
I had my annual prostate exam today and for some reason it was especially painful. I asked the doctor what was different and he informed me he was using two fingers this time. I asked why on earth would he use two fingers. He said it might be a good idea to get a 2nd opinion..
With all the DUMB blonde jokes stirring around, I thought a SMART blonde joke should be posted to even out the score.
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman from Alabama arrived and bet $20,000 on a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I play Topless."
With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice; and yelled, "Come on, Southern Girl needs new clothes!’ As the dice bounced and came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down and squealed ‘YES! YES! I WON! I WON!’
She hugged each of the dealers…and then picked up her winnings, and her clothes, and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don’t know… I thought you were watching."
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman from Alabama arrived and bet $20,000 on a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I play Topless."
With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice; and yelled, "Come on, Southern Girl needs new clothes!’ As the dice bounced and came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down and squealed ‘YES! YES! I WON! I WON!’
She hugged each of the dealers…and then picked up her winnings, and her clothes, and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don’t know… I thought you were watching."
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