Join the club as I imagine it's a very large membership.

But you should be able to achieve what you're looking for.
Sure it is. Well, at least it's as much there as for the other frequencies.
Exactly. But again this is true for every last one of us.
I've heard nothing but good things about the Extremas. But most any reasonalbe subwoofer should easily be able to match the quality, speed, and power of perhaps any speaker. Assuming of course that the subwoofer is properly positioned and/or fine-tuned to generate a seemless integration with the Extremas.
Your best bet is to have the subwoofer driver's dust cap in alignment with your Extremas bass/mid driver dust cap. For example. If your Extremas bass driver dust cap is 5.5 ft out from the front wall, then so should your subwoofer's dust cap. At least as a starting point.
If your Extremas are toed-in toward the listening position then I'd ensure the subwoofer(s) follow that same toed-in angle. If you're unwilling to work with a superior starting/ending subwoofer position, it's possible you just may not be able to achieve the type of bass you're seeking.
No. It has nothing to do with non-directional sound. Rather it has to do with standing waves, room modes, as well as a superior alignment / tuning between sub(s) and main speakers. Besides low frequencies are not as non-directional as many purport.
Also, there are many places where sub(s) should not go, including room corners. Subwoofers need space / air to breathe just like speakers.
Well, this is probably as good a time as any to finalize your priorities. If a superior level of musicality for this system and room is your number 1 priority, then all other priorities must suffer including aesthetics, conveniences, etc..
I'd suggest the following steps.
1. If budget allows consider two subwoofers rather than 1. However, a finely-tuned single subwoofer should more than suffice but two does allow for even greater sonic opportunties and potentials. Then again, finely tuning a single subwoofer ain't no picnic and fine tuning 2 subs ain't no picnic and then some. Two subs is also more comforting from a symmetrically aesthetic perspective.
2. Determine the size of the sub(s). I would not entertain anything smaller than a 12" inch sub and of course 18" subs are definitely larger cabinets, etc. In my case, I settled on a single 15" subwoofer and eventually became extremely pleased with its performance after much dialing in. Last summer I intended to purchase a pair of 18" subs just to ensure I wasn't missing anything but at the last minute I chose to just purchase a 2nd sub identifical to the first.
3. Ensure the interconnects you intend to use for the subwoofer(s) are identical as the interconnects you use elsewhere in your system. Many don't do this and many don't realize that interconnects have a speed and sonic signature. So your best hope is to start off on the right foot by allowing your sub(s) the best opportunity to sonically mate with your Extremas. Integrating subwoofers to mains is a rather daunting task. Why make it more daunting?
4. Before giving subwoofers another thought, focus all of your time and attention on the Extremas' limited bass response or best level of bass musicality. This is done primarily by speaker positioning. I can't prove it but I suspect for most every room, there is a supreme position for most every speaker. Find it. It will take time but once you do, then you'll have a much better idea where you'll place your sub(s).
5. Once the sub(s) arrive, read the set-up manual about 20 times and try reading between the lines as well because as with anything we can't entirely trust that manufacturers know everything there is to know about superior bass.
6. Your speaker positions within the room should be symetrically identical to within say 1/4-inch. As should your subs if you purchase two.
There's a few more notes / cautions but the above should at least get you off on the right foot and might even get you 9/10th's of the way there. Because, like most anything worth doing in life, it all really boils down to how much due dilgence we're willing to perform.
Also, when the above steps are not taken, chances are excellent any bass from the Extremas and/or from the subwoofer(s) will sound disjointed, slow, sloppy, wooly, anemic, etc. and just plain so-so at best. Presumably, you're seeking a superior, well-defined, musical bass that goes tighter, faster, and deeper, and just plain more naturally musical.
If you've not yet chosen a subwoofer, FWIW, on a whim I purchased a $1300 Rhythmik E15 subwoofer back around 2015 and last summer I added a second E15 and I find them to be tremendously musical - once dialed in. But the E15 also has maybe 11 - 15 individual switches and knobs to better fine-tune or perhaps to better throw things outta' whack?
As for music to test with, I'd suggesting sticking with just a few music tracks that you know the bass regions with span both the sub(s) and the Extremas. If you did your homework in find a superior (or the supreme) location for the Extremas, then chances are good much of your work is already done and now you may only need to sync the sub(s) to the mains, since supposedly the mains are already synced to the room.
I'd suggest a few music pieces like this one below since much of the bass falls in the 28 - 45 Hz range and one of your primary goals is a seemless integration with your Extremas. Plus the bass is tight, quick, and overall rather well-defined. Which are exactly the same attributes you should be seeking when fine-tuing things.