Lost my childhood partner in crime.

Hi-FiGuy

Member Sponsor
Feb 24, 2015
1,152
0
36
#1
Found out last Monday my childhood buddy and partner in a lot of ludicrous $hit in decades gone by passed away form cancer at 56.
We fought like cats and dogs in our youth, sent each other to the hospital for stitches and broken bones at times. We got past that phase and entered chasing girls and building Hot Rods, going to a boatload of concerts, met our wives, had children, got them married and continued the cycle of life.
Obviously with the growth of our families and moving around the country we saw less of each other but still talked often.
Last time I saw him I literally physically ran in to him while I was on my morning walk and he came around a corner on his motorcycle and my dumb-a$$ was not paying attention to where I was going.
We sat on the side of the road and talked for about an hour and was told about his recent diagnosis.
This was days before moving to Seattle.

I got a phone call about a year later and it was him telling me about the death of his younger brother and that he himself had been in a motorcycle accident, been in a coma and suffered brain damage.
I am here to tell you that conversation crushed me as his brother, also a childhood friend was actually his baby sitter during the day while he healed, and to keep him from driving, something the two of us love to do. It was quite obvious that the brain damage was very real.
We talked for hours about his brother and the motorcycle accident but never a single word about the cancer.
I met him at age 5 and he is one of 8 kids, good Catholic family, third from the youngest. When you have 10 people living in one house, it gets very busy all the time. This family was part of my everyday life up until I got married and got a place of my own, and constant interaction over the years.

Sooo....trying to make sense of it all. Things that make you think about life in general.

His dad has had the personal life experience, privilege and honor of burying his wife and two of his youngest children, the kids in the last two years.
My heart and soul are crushed.
His dad and my dad both had literally the same heart diagnosis 40 years ago, had the bypass, and told to change their habits if they wanted to live a long life.
His dad listened, quit drinking and smoking, started exercising and started eating healthy. My dad on the other hand did exactly the opposite and continued down the same path.So much so that after his third heart surgery when mom and I went to visit him he was in the CCU with an ashtray sitting on his stapled together chest smoking a cigarette===IN THE FRICKIN CCU!=== The nurse even told my mom what an a$$hole my dad was, and he was to be sure.
So who got the better end of the deal here, my dad who, lived his life on his terms, went with everyone still alive and healthy not having to bury any of his children, or my buddy's dad who is still alive (now deteriorating rapidly I am told) and on Monday bury his second child?
Cant even entertain the thought.
 
Last edited:

marty

Active Member
Apr 20, 2010
1,107
1
38
Far Hills, NJ
#3
That was a beautiful and heartfelt note. It brought me to tears and I'm not sure I would have felt that way reading that note when I was 40. We are all so...fragile, and it does not seem to go away as we get older. Always hard to lose those closest to you. My sincere condolences.
 

Bruce B

WBF Founding Member, Pro Audio Production Member
Apr 26, 2010
6,554
1
38
Seattle, WA
www.pugetsoundstudios.com
#5
Sorry for your loss mate.

After my motorcycle accident, my life and mindset changed dramatically. As you get older, your priorities change. You no longer think about the next dollar ( or piece of stereo equipment) and your health and time with family/friends becomes more important!
 

Ron Resnick

Co-Owner, Administrator
Jan 25, 2015
5,043
24
38
Beverly Hills, CA
#6
I am very sorry to read of the loss of your friend. May he always remain in your heart.
 
Feb 8, 2011
18,730
0
36
Vancouver Island, B.C. Canada
#7
Found out last Monday my childhood buddy and partner in a lot of ludicrous $hit in decades gone by passed away form cancer at 56.
We fought like cats and dogs in our youth, sent each other to the hospital for stitches and broken bones at times. We got past that phase and entered chasing girls and building Hot Rods, going to a boatload of concerts, met our wives, had children, got them married and continued the cycle of life.
Obviously with the growth of our families and moving around the country we saw less of each other but still talked often.
Last time I saw him I literally physically ran in to him while I was on my morning walk and he came around a corner on his motorcycle and my dumb-a$$ was not paying attention to where I was going.
We sat on the side of the road and talked for about an hour and was told about his recent diagnosis.
This was days before moving to Seattle.

I got a phone call about a year later and it was him telling me about the death of his younger brother and that he himself had been in a motorcycle accident, been in a coma and suffered brain damage.
I am here to tell you that conversation crushed me as his brother, also a childhood friend was actually his baby sitter during the day while he healed, and to keep him from driving, something the two of us love to do. It was quite obvious that the brain damage was very real.
We talked for hours about his brother and the motorcycle accident but never a single word about the cancer.
I met him at age 5 and he is one of 8 kids, good Catholic family, third from the youngest. When you have 10 people living in one house, it gets very busy all the time. This family was part of my everyday life up until I got married and got a place of my own, and constant interaction over the years.

Sooo....trying to make sense of it all. Things that make you think about life in general.

His dad has had the personal life experience, privilege and honor of burying his wife and two of his youngest children, the kids in the last two years.
My heart and soul are crushed.
His dad and my dad both had literally the same heart diagnosis 40 years ago, had the bypass, and told to change their habits if they wanted to live a long life.
His dad listened, quit drinking and smoking, started exercising and started eating healthy. My dad on the other hand did exactly the opposite and continued down the same path.So much so that after his third heart surgery when mom and I went to visit him he was in the CCU with an ashtray sitting on his stapled together chest smoking a cigarette===IN THE FRICKIN CCU!=== The nurse even told my mom what an a$$hole my dad was, and he was to be sure.
So who got the better end of the deal here, my dad who, lived his life on his terms, went with everyone still alive and healthy not having to bury any of his children, or my buddy's dad who is still alive (now deteriorating rapidly I am told) and on Monday bury his second child?
Cant even entertain the thought.
Mike, you told us a beautiful life story in your post; may those precious souvenirs you shared with us live eternally. My thoughts are with you and your friend and families.
 
Feb 3, 2012
599
1
18
Melbourne
#9
Sorry to hear about your mate. That will be something very hard to get over, if at all... Main thing is to move on and try to remember and embrace the way he lived. The quality times you both had, family, friends and good laughs, will keep you moving forwards. Also don't forget the music!, it has some pretty strong healing powers when you dig deep into the emotions...
I was just wondering if your mate had any particular great tracks he would have liked to listened to often? Perhaps if you could let us know, we could play some of these tunes as a form of dedication, if you don't mind.
Let us know, take it easy and stay safe.
Low woof - RJ
 
Oct 30, 2017
496
0
16
USA
#10
I am new here and so don't know you but just want to let you know I am sorry.
 

Hi-FiGuy

Member Sponsor
Feb 24, 2015
1,152
0
36
#11
Sorry to hear about your mate. That will be something very hard to get over, if at all... Main thing is to move on and try to remember and embrace the way he lived. The quality times you both had, family, friends and good laughs, will keep you moving forwards. Also don't forget the music!, it has some pretty strong healing powers when you dig deep into the emotions...
I was just wondering if your mate had any particular great tracks he would have liked to listened to often? Perhaps if you could let us know, we could play some of these tunes as a form of dedication, if you don't mind.
Let us know, take it easy and stay safe.
Low woof - RJ
Thanks guys I appreciate the responses very much!
Big Dog RJ you hit a couple key thoughts here.

One is that yes I choose to celebrate the life lived, this just happens to be the first what I call first level friendship. I do not have a large group of what I call true friends, and that is by design. Coming out of my youth and into adulthood I made a few "adult" changes and out of this group of people I "thought" were friends he is the only one that remained true, the rest vapor. To be honest that was fine as I changed and they did not. Have bumped into a few of them over the years and they are still the same as they were back then.

Two, the music. He is my original listening mate as we went on our music discovery journey together. One rule we had was to always listen to the whole album beginning to end to try to "get" what the artist was trying to convey to the listener. For me it was one hot California summer at a mutual buddy's house when he, through his AR Turntable, AR Speakers and Kenwood receiver, spun Led Zeppelin 4 and one song in particular, Black Dog.

When I made the original post I had indeed started a week long set and will share with you in honor. The only rule breaker of complete album is the last one and you will see why when I get there, it was however the complete side.

Led Zeppelin 4
Led Zeppelin Presence
ELP Brain Salad Surgery
ELP Trilogy
Return To Forever Romantic Warrior (if you dont have it or never heard it, please get it)
Mahavishnu Orchestra Visions of the Emerald Beyond
Mahavishnu Orchestra Birds of Fire
Yes Close to the Edge
Yes Fragile
Deep Purple Made in Japan
Black Sabbath Black Sabbath
Jeff Beck Wired
Journey Infinity
Rush Moving Pictures
Rush 2112
Pink Floyd DSOTM
Pink Floyd The Wall
Supertramp Crime of the Century
Elton John Goodbye Yellow Brick Road side one
...Funeral for a friend
...Love lies bleeding
...Candle in the wind
...Bennie and the Jets

For now, this is the end of set one. Almost all of these groups we attended concerts together. Set two will commence today as I recently got all my vinyl that has been in boxes for four years, into shelving in my tiny music room (more on that will follow in another existing post about my room).

Here is a picture of the last time I sat down with him and had a drink, his daughters wedding. It was an amazing ceremony in a perfect setting. I was sitting at a table sipping a Bourbon and he came up sat down and whips out a flask from the coat pocket and says, "You have to try this". Some things never change, me and Bourbon and him and Scotch! It was some 20+ year something or other and it was yummy, though not my gig.

He was the consummate friend,dad,husband,son and the world is a better place because of him.

FB_IMG_1512318413050.jpg
 

spiritofmusic

Member Sponsor
Jun 13, 2013
6,227
11
38
E. England
#12
Sir, that is a STELLAR playlist, and worthy of the occasion.
 
Oct 30, 2017
496
0
16
USA
#13
Sir, that is a STELLAR playlist, and worthy of the occasion.
Agreed. As can be seen from my Handle and Avatar I am a little partial to the Zeppelin boys. I will celebrate a little life today with those albums.