For those of us who have been through a divorce, this story may resonate:
?DIVORCE SETTLEMENT ? ? ?
On? the first day, he sadly packed his ? belongings into boxes, crates? and suitcases. ? ? ? ?
On the second day, he had the movers ?come and collect his things. ? ?
On? the third day, he sat down for the ? last time at their beautiful? dining-room table, by candle-light; he put on ? some soft background? music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of ? caviar, and a bottle? of spring-water. ? ? ? ?
When he'd finished, he went into each ? and every room and deposited a? few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into ? the hollow center of the? curtain rods. ? ? He? then cleaned up the kitchen and ? left. ? ? ? ?
On the fourth day, the wife came back ? with her new boyfriend, and at? first all was bliss. ? Then, slowly, the house began to ? smell. ? ? ? ?
They tried everything; cleaning, ? mopping, and airing-out the place. ? Vents were checked for dead rodents, ? and carpets were steam cleaned. ? Air? fresheners were hung everywhere. ? Exterminators were brought in to? set off gas canisters, during which time the ? two had to move out for a? few days, and in the end they even paid to replace ? the expensive wool? carpeting.
Nothing worked! People stopped coming over to ? visit. ? ? Repairmen refused to work in the ? house. The maid quit. ? ? ? ?
Finally, they couldn't take the ? stench any longer, and decided they? had to move, but a month later - even ? though they'd cut their price in? half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a ? stinky house. ? ? ? ?
Word got out, and eventually even the ? local realtors refused to return? their calls. ? ? ? ? Finally, unable to wait any longer ? for a purchaser, they had to borrow? a huge sum of money from the bank to ? purchase a new place. ? ? ? ?
Then the ex called the woman and ? asked how things were going. She told? him the saga of the rotting house. He ? listened politely and said that? he missed his old home terribly and would be ? willing to reduce his? divorce settlement in exchange for having the ? house. ? ? ? ? Knowing he could have no idea how bad ? the smell really was, she agreed? on a price that was only 1/10 nth of what ? the house had been worth ...? but only if he would sign the papers that very ? day. ? ? ? ? He agreed, and within two hours her ? lawyers delivered the completed paperwork. ? ? ? ?
A week later the woman and her ? boyfriend stood smiling as they watched? the moving company pack everything to ? take to their new home ... and? just to spite the ex-husband, they even took ? the curtain rods !!! ? ? ? ?
I? LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T ? YOU...? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
?DIVORCE SETTLEMENT ? ? ?
On? the first day, he sadly packed his ? belongings into boxes, crates? and suitcases. ? ? ? ?
On the second day, he had the movers ?come and collect his things. ? ?
On? the third day, he sat down for the ? last time at their beautiful? dining-room table, by candle-light; he put on ? some soft background? music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of ? caviar, and a bottle? of spring-water. ? ? ? ?
When he'd finished, he went into each ? and every room and deposited a? few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into ? the hollow center of the? curtain rods. ? ? He? then cleaned up the kitchen and ? left. ? ? ? ?
On the fourth day, the wife came back ? with her new boyfriend, and at? first all was bliss. ? Then, slowly, the house began to ? smell. ? ? ? ?
They tried everything; cleaning, ? mopping, and airing-out the place. ? Vents were checked for dead rodents, ? and carpets were steam cleaned. ? Air? fresheners were hung everywhere. ? Exterminators were brought in to? set off gas canisters, during which time the ? two had to move out for a? few days, and in the end they even paid to replace ? the expensive wool? carpeting.
Nothing worked! People stopped coming over to ? visit. ? ? Repairmen refused to work in the ? house. The maid quit. ? ? ? ?
Finally, they couldn't take the ? stench any longer, and decided they? had to move, but a month later - even ? though they'd cut their price in? half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a ? stinky house. ? ? ? ?
Word got out, and eventually even the ? local realtors refused to return? their calls. ? ? ? ? Finally, unable to wait any longer ? for a purchaser, they had to borrow? a huge sum of money from the bank to ? purchase a new place. ? ? ? ?
Then the ex called the woman and ? asked how things were going. She told? him the saga of the rotting house. He ? listened politely and said that? he missed his old home terribly and would be ? willing to reduce his? divorce settlement in exchange for having the ? house. ? ? ? ? Knowing he could have no idea how bad ? the smell really was, she agreed? on a price that was only 1/10 nth of what ? the house had been worth ...? but only if he would sign the papers that very ? day. ? ? ? ? He agreed, and within two hours her ? lawyers delivered the completed paperwork. ? ? ? ?
A week later the woman and her ? boyfriend stood smiling as they watched? the moving company pack everything to ? take to their new home ... and? just to spite the ex-husband, they even took ? the curtain rods !!! ? ? ? ?
I? LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T ? YOU...? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
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