Machina Dynamica...the motherload of tweaks

es347

VIP/Donor & WBF Founding Member
Apr 20, 2010
1,578
35
1,620
Midwest fly over state..
..for those of you unacquainted with Machina Dynamica, you're in for a real treat. Here's the link to the MD website:

http://www.machinadynamica.com/index.html

..and a teaser from the site...a summary of how the INTELLIGENT CHIP works...Abbott and Costello couldn't have said it better :D...

Summary
The Intelligent Chip works quantum mechanically via coherent quantum superposition and quantum entanglement. Two coherent light sources (the CD player laser and the quantum dots in the Intelligent Chip) interact with the atoms in the CD's polycarbonate layer to produce long-lasting, superior optical transparency for better optical signal to noise ratio during the laser-reading process. The active material in the Intelligent Chip is quantum dots - artifical atoms grown in the lab tuned to emit photons of a pre-determined wavelength.

In the case of the original Intelligent Chip, CD laser light escapes the player through a number of small holes and narrow gaps in the CD player case. The emitted photons from chip commingle with the CD laser light that is everywhere in the room and inside the player; the commingled light resonates with the CD's polycarbonate material, improving its optical performance. In the case of The Super Intelligent Chip, the process occurs entirely inside the CD player where all the interactions are more intense.
 

ack

VIP/Donor & WBF Founding Member
May 6, 2010
6,774
1,198
580
Boston, MA
That was a blast, thanks!

My favorite:

Teleportation Tweak. Must call Machina Dynamica to obtain over the phone. Takes 20 seconds. $60.

Teleportation Tweak

Customer Comment - "I noted a vast improvement in depth and staging. The tone is pure, correct-sounding and natural. In fact, I have never heard sound so real. The Teleportation Tweak is a thing of indescribable beauty." - Customer, Sept 2007 "

Signed by Customer, no less
 

Bruce B

WBF Founding Member, Pro Audio Production Member
Apr 25, 2010
7,007
515
1,740
Snohomish, WA
www.pugetsoundstudios.com
This and Bybee give the Dave Collins' of the world plenty of fodder.
 

egidius

Member Sponsor
Feb 13, 2011
430
5
923
Switzerland
art!

..for those of you unacquainted with Machina Dynamica, you're in for a real treat. Here's the link to the MD website:

http://www.machinadynamica.com/index.html

..and a teaser from the site...a summary of how the INTELLIGENT CHIP works...Abbott and Costello couldn't have said it better :D...

Summary
The Intelligent Chip works quantum mechanically via coherent quantum superposition and quantum entanglement. Two coherent light sources (the CD player laser and the quantum dots in the Intelligent Chip) interact with the atoms in the CD's polycarbonate layer to produce long-lasting, superior optical transparency for better optical signal to noise ratio during the laser-reading process. The active material in the Intelligent Chip is quantum dots - artifical atoms grown in the lab tuned to emit photons of a pre-determined wavelength.

In the case of the original Intelligent Chip, CD laser light escapes the player through a number of small holes and narrow gaps in the CD player case. The emitted photons from chip commingle with the CD laser light that is everywhere in the room and inside the player; the commingled light resonates with the CD's polycarbonate material, improving its optical performance. In the case of The Super Intelligent Chip, the process occurs entirely inside the CD player where all the interactions are more intense.

This is real art! thanks for guiding us here. The guys must be artists! I would love to do the Teleportation, or rather, have invented it. The only drawback is the asking for money, but I suppose that's were the true artist shows..
 

JackD201

WBF Founding Member
Apr 20, 2010
12,319
1,429
1,820
Manila, Philippines
Thank you for calling Machina Dynamica

For a wider soundstage, press 1

For smoother highs, press 2

For deeper and tighter bass, press 3

For all of the above, stay on the line and one of our conmen will attend to you shortly

< 70's porn music plays in the background>

All of our conmen are busy now, please stay on the line and one of our conmen will attend to you shortly

<more 70's porn music>

Thank you for calling Machina Dynamica....
 

FrantzM

Member Sponsor & WBF Founding Member
Apr 20, 2010
6,455
29
405
thank you for calling machina dynamica

for a wider soundstage, press 1

for smoother highs, press 2

for deeper and tighter bass, press 3

for all of the above, stay on the line and one of our conmen will attend to you shortly

< 70's porn music plays in the background>

all of our conmen are busy now, please stay on the line and one of our conmen will attend to you shortly

<more 70's porn music>

thank you for calling machina dynamica....

rotflmao

:d
 

Phelonious Ponk

New Member
Jun 30, 2010
8,677
23
0
Surely this is satire?

Tim
 

microstrip

VIP/Donor
May 30, 2010
20,807
4,702
2,790
Portugal
Surely this is satire?

Tim

Yes. In real world it would include :

Your phone call is being recorded for quality purposes.

for analoge tape, press 1
for DSD, press 2
for PCM, press 3 "
 

es347

VIP/Donor & WBF Founding Member
Apr 20, 2010
1,578
35
1,620
Midwest fly over state..

microstrip

VIP/Donor
May 30, 2010
20,807
4,702
2,790
Portugal
Not at all Tim. The guy has been "inventing" and selling this nonsense for years. He posts under his real name on the S'phile forum and several years ago I went round and round with him. Here's his (Geoff Kaitt) latest wonder tweak on A'gon:

http://app.audiogon.com/listings/tweaks-machina-dynamica-cryo-d-baby-promethean-mini-isolators-2014-01-08-accessories-22042

IMHO nothing compares to the clock:
http://machinadynamica.com/machina42.htm

The alien time coordinates are contained in the recording (or videotape). The time coordinates (of what was then Present Time) of the recorded performance, millisecond by millisecond, are captured inadvertently along with the acoustic information. When a recording is played, the time coordinates from the recording session (which are now Past Time coordinates) are reproduced by the speakers along with the acoustic signals of the recorded event. Those Past Time signals become entangled, integrated in the listener's mind with Present Time signals. Because the listener is accustomed to using Present Time signals to synchronize his chronological memory, he subconsciously perceives the confusing, interloping Past Time signals as a threat.
 

GaryProtein

VIP/Donor
Jul 25, 2012
2,542
31
385
NY
I can't believe we are even posting about this idiot except to laugh at him, although he may also be laughing on his way to the bank.
 

JackD201

WBF Founding Member
Apr 20, 2010
12,319
1,429
1,820
Manila, Philippines
Yes. In real world it would include :

Your phone call is being recorded for quality purposes.

for analoge tape, press 1
for DSD, press 2
for PCM, press 3 "

Press 4 for Direct to Disc, our lathe is standing by...........
 

jeromelang

Well-Known Member
Dec 26, 2011
439
66
935
I hear perceptible sonic differences when I removed clock devices from my listening room.
I also stopped wearing watches.

There are also perceptible sonic differences when I unplugged my line phone.
Also, when I rip CDs on my laptop, there are very audible differences with or without the LAN cable connected.

Geoff knows more than what he is willing to divulge.

It's a shame really, when the industry is being kept ignorant because of business interests...
 

GaryProtein

VIP/Donor
Jul 25, 2012
2,542
31
385
NY

GaryProtein

VIP/Donor
Jul 25, 2012
2,542
31
385
NY

Peter Breuninger

[Industry Expert] Member Sponsor
Jul 20, 2010
1,231
4
0
Thank you for calling Machina Dynamica

For a wider soundstage, press 1

For smoother highs, press 2

For deeper and tighter bass, press 3

For all of the above, stay on the line and one of our conmen will attend to you shortly

< 70's porn music plays in the background>

All of our conmen are busy now, please stay on the line and one of our conmen will attend to you shortly

<more 70's porn music>

Thank you for calling Machina Dynamica....


I nominate this for Jack's funniest post.
 

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